Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, and It's Time to Get Real About It

"Great book!" —John Hamel, LCSW, Author, Gender-Inclusive Treatment of Intimate Partner Abuse, and Editor-in-Chief of the periodical journal Partner Abuse.

Men can be on the receiving end of an abusive relationship!

It could be from an emotionally abusive girlfriend, a physically abusive wife, or a female partner who is demanding, controlling, manipulative or bullying using any of the 7 forms of intimate partner abuse or spousal abuse.

Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, and It’s Time to Get Real About It is a groundbreaking book shattering the silence surrounding female on male abuse. It challenges the common perception that domestic violence and other types of partner abuse only happen to women. Women can be abusive too. 

I question the cultural trend to ignore, condone, laugh at, or even applaud women treating men in ways that would be rightfully condemned if the genders were reversed.

Men abusing women is not OK, and women abusing men is not OK. It's not acceptable when a husband abuses his wife, and it's not acceptable when a wife abuses her husband. 

My unique perspective as a woman who myself was the target of partner abuse by a man, and who also recognizes that there are abusive women and abused men, along with my work helping female and male clients who are dealing with partner abuse, has resulted in a book that is a cultural game changer.

Partner abuse isn't just about domestic violence. Domestic violence against men is one way women abuse men, but not the only way. Women abuse men using all 7 forms of partner abuse.

This book stands alone with its gripping personal stories of emotionally abused men as well as every other form of intimate partner abuse of men by their female partners:

• verbal abuse,
• emotional/psychological abuse,
• financial abuse,
• spiritual abuse,
• legal abuse,
• physical abuse, and
• sexual abuse.

It Happens, It Hurts describes:

• what intimate partner abuse is,
• abusive wife or girlfriend signs,
• what it's like for men who are dealing with manipulative women or abusive women,
• what it looks like when a wife abuses her husband or a woman abuses her boyfriend,
• why abusive women do it,
• how we are supporting and encouraging women to abuse men,
• how men get pulled into these dysfunctional relationships,
• how to deal with an abusive wife or girlfriend,
• why men stay with abusive women,
• the impact on abused men, and
• what can be done about it.

Just a few of the topics covered in It Happens, It Hurts:

• real-life examples of the 7 forms of partner abuse

• how abuse of men by women is depicted in the media

• description of the abuse continuum

• 70 possible reasons other than self-defense for a woman to act in ways that belong somewhere on the abuse continuum

• 10 aspects for a man to consider so he can figure out the reality of his relationship and options for the future

• 5 steps a woman can take to stop being abusive to her partner

• the 7-stage sales job that abusive women use on men to lure them into relationships and keep them there

• how Dating Girl traps a man before revealing her true personality

• how manipulative women play the Domestic Violence con game by falsely accusing men of partner abuse

This book:

• arms men with the information they need to avoid getting hooked into bad relationships,

• offers refreshing recognition, understanding, and direction for abused men who are struggling to deal with, or recover from, difficult relationships with an abusive wife or girlfriend,

• helps women examine how they treat their husbands and boyfriends,

• provides a road map for men and women looking to help their brothers, fathers, sons, and friends who are being abused by women or teach them how to avoid getting pulled in by them,

• is a call to action for helping professionals (teachers, counselors, ministers, police officers . . .), and

• an eyeopener for all people who are willing to see what is really going on.

John Hamel's full review:

“Ann Silvers’ book, Abuse OF Men BY Women, addresses a much-neglected social problem. The book accurately reflects the latest social science research yet it is highly readable, the writing clear and lively.

Ann has done an outstanding job identifying the tactics used by abusive and controlling women, and how men find themselves entrapped in these relationships. She also offers practical solutions for women who are abusing, men who are abused, and their families. Great book! Well done!”

What do abused men who have read the book have to say about it? “Wow!”

“All I can say is Wow! I wish I had read this 20 years ago. This would have saved me hundreds of thousands of dollars and years of my life. This is something that my 18-year-old son will have to read. This is a gift to every ‘son’ out there. Thank you for the work you are doing. Men of all ages need to read this. I think the issue is much bigger than anyone even realizes.”

“WOW! A great achievement here. The glass ceiling of prejudicial thinking may very well be broken with the publication of this very informative book. I see a piece of my life’s experience on almost every page.”
“Wow! It is a wonderful book and brilliantly insightful! I couldn’t put it down. It draws upon personal experience and extensive research which brings about the urgency to explore the abuse of men by women. It is a powerful recommendation to counselors, social workers, lawyers, teachers, pastors, and all who are in a position to assist men and women dealing with this issue.”

“This synthesis of the latest research in abuse of men by women is a major breakthrough, showing what is happening, giving clarity, offering a new awareness of an issue that is commonly ignored and disregarded: the abuse of men by women. It has the potential of becoming the instrument for measuring and defining partner abuse. Ann also offers solutions to relieve the suffering and devastation it causes.”

“It’s as if Ann had known me and my ex all our lives and was writing the book from an invisible observation point in the house. I recognized myself and others in the examples. I saw my paternal grandpa, my father-in-law, and many close friends. Ann’s book will provide understanding, initiate healing, and give hope to many men out there. I wish I’d had a copy of the book when I first started dating and especially, before I divorced.”

“The subject matter is rare, shocking, simply put and yet so refreshing. The book brings to the light of day an old problem that dates back centuries and that went unnoticed all this time.”

Who should read this book?:

• men dealing with, or recovering from, difficult relationships with a verbally, physically, sexually, mentally, legally, financially, spiritually, or  emotionally abusive wife or girlfriend

• men who want to arm themselves with information so they can avoid getting hooked into relationships with manipulative or abusive women

• women who want healthy relationships with men

• men and women looking to help their brothers, fathers, sons, and friends who are being abused by women or avoid getting pulled into bad relationships

• people who want to know what’s going on

• helping professionals (teachers, counselors, ministers, police officers . . .)

Click on the Book Cover for A Look Inside--Sample Pages PDF

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