Blog — emotional intelligence

How to Silence Your Inner Critic and Stop Negative Self-Talk 0

Your inner critic can hold you back and wear you down. This post walks you through how to spot negative self-talk, where it comes from, and how to change it. With practical steps, real-life examples, and tools for lasting mindset shifts, you’ll learn how to rewrite the messages you say to yourself and replace criticism with encouragement.

The Right-Wrong Trap: How Black-and-White Thinking Skews Decisions 0

Black-and-white thinking—also called polarized, all-or-nothing, or dichotomous thinking—is a cognitive distortion that oversimplifies your options and messes with your decision-making.

This post explains how the right-wrong trap can lead to stress, fear, and indecision, and offers tips and worksheets to help you shift toward more realistic, flexible thinking.

The Chinese Farmer Parable: Maybe It’s Good, Maybe It’s Bad 0

Here is my version of the Chinese Farmer fable or parable that can help you to pull out of awfulizing about your life.

A farmer who was feeling down and out because his farm was not doing well went to the local guru to complain about his plight and seek advice. The guru’s response to his story: “Maybe it’s good. Maybe it’s bad.”

The farmer found the guru’s surprising “advice” disappointing and confusing.

He tossed and turned that night, unable to sleep for worry about his situation. His head spun imagining his family’s awful future.

When the farmer woke in the morning, . . .

5 Ways to Increase Your Self-Acceptance 0

 "The happiness, the peace, and the love you crave cannot happen without Self-acceptance.” - Robert Holden

We don’t just have relationships with other people, we also have a relationship with ourselves. And that relationship is foundational to all other relationships. 

Being unhappy with yourself taints every aspect of your life.

Here are 5 ways to increase your self-acceptance.

Feeling is not a 4-letter word 0

Some people act like feelings are something other people—lesser people—have, but not something they experience themselves. They act like feelings are bad.

The reality is that feelings, or emotions, are an integral and crucial part of being human.

Emotions are tools that let us know what is going on between us and the world. They create a feedback loop . . .

Anger is a Secondary Emotion: Tip of the Iceberg 14

I see anger as a secondary emotion. It is the tip of the iceberg.

Anger is the visible response, and some sort of emotional pain is hidden under the surface. Instead of dealing with that pain directly, we turn it into anger as a way to release or redirect it.

Click Read More to learn what's underneath anger.