Abuse OF Men BY Women — Revised Second Edition

Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, Let’s Deal With It is a research-based guide to understanding and responding to partner abuse when women are the source of the abuse and men are the target.

In the decade since publishing the first edition of Abuse OF Men BY Women, I’ve talked to hundreds more men who have been abused by their girlfriends or wives. I’ve spoken internationally on the topic and contributed a chapter on treating abused men for The Routledge Handbook of Men’s Victimization in Intimate Relationships (2025).

Public awareness of the issue took a leap forward in 2022 with the televised Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard defamation trial. Millions watched a man describe being abused by his wife and then falsely cast as her abuser. Many who began as skeptics came to see that men, too, can be on the receiving end of partner abuse, and recognized the serious harm it inflicts. Abused men told me they felt seen and vindicated when Johnny was seen and vindicated.

Abuse OF Men BY Women Revised Second Edition builds on the foundation of the original book while incorporating new research, insights, and examples gathered over the past decade.

What’s the Same in the Revised Second Edition

The book’s readability, structure, and format remain the same, with straightforward explanations and personal stories.

Like the first edition, it covers:

• • The what, why, and how of partner abuse

  • Seven forms of female-to-male partner abuse, including physical domestic violence, and verbal, sexual, financial, legal/administrative, spiritual, and emotional/psycholgoical abuse

  • The impact of abuse on men and effective strategies for dealing with it
    

  • Personal stories that provide relatable examples of the patterns and issues discussed 

This abused man's comment on the first edition holds true for the new one as well:

“It’s as if Ann had known me and my ex all our lives and was writing the book from an invisible observation point in the house.”

What’s Different in the Revised Second Edition

Besides adjustments reflecting the cleaner grammar style that has gained popularity in recent years, changes fall into five main categories: subtitle, references, statistics, new insights, and updated examples.

Subtitle

The final phrase of the subtitle changed from It’s Time to Get Real About It to Let’s Deal With It to reflect progress in public awareness and the need for continued action.

References

More scholars around the world are taking a gender-inclusive approach to partner abuse. Much of what was presented in the first edition is now supported by their research findings. Citations appear throughout the book, with references listed by chapter at the back.

Statistics

The first edition largely avoided statistical debates. Over time, however, I was frequently asked about male and female comparisons in presentations and interviews. Research into the statistics revealed a clearer picture, and this edition includes more data throughout the book.

New Insights

This edition adds new topics such as love bombing and secondary abuse and expands discussion of areas that were only briefly covered before, including parental alienation and cyberbullying.

Updated Examples

Most real-life stories from the first edition remain, but some have been replaced with more current examples, ranging from widely reported cases to situations that never made the news.

“The first edition of Abuse OF Men BY Women was already a vital resource, but this revised edition elevates the work to an entirely new level. The expanded referencing, integration of new statistics, and inclusion of international research create an even more comprehensive and impactful picture of the realities men face worldwide.

Ann Silvers brings clarity to a complex topic and situates it within a much broader landscape of evidence and lived experience. This edition is richer, deeper, and even more essential than the first.”

—Ben Hine, PhD, Professor of Applied Psychology, University of West London; Chair, Male Psychology Section, British Psychological Society

Who This Book Is For

This book is written for:

• • Men dealing with, or recovering from, difficult relationships, or seeking information to avoid getting hooked into one

  • Women who want healthy relationships with men

  • Men and women looking to help their brothers, fathers, sons, and friends who are being abused by a female partner

  • Anyone who values being informed

  • Helping professionals and advocates, including counselors, clergy, attorneys, and law enforcement

“This is the book for our times. As a clinician with a decades-long career, I know how vital it is that we recognize the reality of abuse of men by women and deal with it. Ann Silvers has been sounding the alarm for many years and offering solutions that work. This updated edition of her book is passionate, helpful, healing, and engaging to read.

For many years, I directed a court-referred domestic violence program that had both male and female abusers. I wish I could have given all of them this book. It is the most authoritative I’ve ever read on the subject and will be invaluable for individuals, clinicians, and other professionals for years to come.”

—Jed Diamond, PhD, Founder of MenAlive

Available in Paperback and Ebook 

I've worked with major distributors to ensure you have plenty of options for getting copies for yourself, family members, group participants, clients, and students. 

You can purchase the eBook directly from me here. 

Here are a couple of options for purchasing one or a few copies of the print version: 

• Bookshop.org (supports independent bookstores)
• Amazon

Bulk discounts are available for print orders of 10 or more copies, including purchases for educational programs, professional training, book groups, or organizational distribution.

Reach out via the contact form to discuss bulk purchasing options.

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