Blog — partner abuse

What's Wrong with the Duluth Model for DV Treatment? 3

The Duluth Model is a DV treatment program that dominates every level of DV services from the police officer who responds to a 911 call, to the laws that govern how that officer is supposed to act, to the judge who hears the case if charged, and the treatment services provided to both parties.

The Duluth Model for DV treatment provides glaring examples of the DV community’s anti-male pro-female gender biases. In pivotal ways, the influence the model has waged is a major cause of those ongoing biases. 

From my perspective, the Duluth Model is not only flawed, and unhelpful—it is destructive. 

I have come to that conclusion through decades of advocacy for men abused by their wives and girlfriends, and for the expansion of understanding that Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) can happen in any gender configuration.

In this post, I'll give you the background. You can draw your own conclusions. 

How Many Men are Abused by Women? 3

Abuse of men by their partners, especially female partners, is usually dismissed as infrequent or not harmful, and is often laughed at or even encouraged. But how many men get abused by their wives and girlfriends? How many men experience domestic abuse and violence? What are the percentage stats for abuse of men? What are the relative numbers of abused men and abused women?

My answers will probably surprise you.

Marriage Counselor, Dr Laurel Anderson Testimony, Johnny Depp v Amber Heard Def Trial 7

A video deposition of Dr Laurel Anderson, Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's couples' therapist, was presented during Johnny's WaPo article defamation trial on April 14, 2022. As a therapist and author of several books about partner abuse I've been following this case for a couple of years and was particularly interested in taking a detailed look at this testimony. 

As I worked my way through Dr Anderson's testimony, I developed more and more questions about the therapy and this post became much more extensive than I anticipated.

Ann Silvers Interviews about Abusive Women and Abused Men 0

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Audio Recording Sept 2015 Transcript and Analysis 6

Amber Heard and Johnny Depp created an audio recording of a conversation they had September 26, 2015. In these two hour-long recordings, Johnny stays calm and is suggesting ways to make their relationship better. Amber morphs from angry and demeaning to demure.

In  this recorded conversation, Amber admits to throwing things at Johnny and hitting him while calling him "a baby" for having a problem with her physical attacks.

Johnny repeatedly asks that things not get physical anymore and that they make a plan to call a time out if things get heated.

Amber resists Johnny's suggestions to give each other space when they are angry and she repeatedly chastises Johnny for not staying and fighting. This is not what one would expect to hear someone say to their abuser.

This post includes links for the audio recordings and a full transcripts of the both hour-long segments of the conversation. It also includes background to help you have more context for what each says (and how they say it).

I also point out some of what I noticed in this interaction based on my years of experience studying partner abuse, writing about it, and working with hundreds of couples who have experienced, or are experiencing, abuse from one partner or both. 

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard Relationship and Legal Battles Timeline 10

Are you having trouble sorting out who's telling the truth as Johnny Depp and Amber Heard accuse each other of domestic violence?

As a counselor who has done a lot of research into domestic violence and written several books about partner abuse, including a book about women abusing men, I've been watching this case with a great deal of interest.

I decided to do a deep dive into Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's tumultuous relationship. I've realized that this is an ongoing project, but I've unearthed so much troubling information that I decided to create a timeline to make sense of the many twists and turns.