Blog — abuse OF men BY women

Love Shouldn't Hurt. A Battered Husband's Story.

Most people don't understand the depth and frequency of domestic violence against men by abusive wives and girlfriends. Would you know how to help a friend if he said, "My wife beats me up. What should I do?" Would you even take him seriously? Reading this battered husband's story can help open your eyes to the reality of physical abuse when it is perpetrated by a woman on a man.

Why is it So Hard To Recognize Abuse OF Men BY Women as a Problem?

People recognize that a man behaving in an abusive way toward his wife or girlfriend is a bad thing. Male-to-female partner abuse is rightfully condemned. 

But flip the genders and that same controlling, demeaning, or punishing behavior is far too often ignored, condoned, supported, or laughed at.

Discover 8 reasons that explain why that is happening.

Mental Health and Partner Abuse Resources for Men

There aren't a lot of online mental health and partner abuse resources that are geared to men, so I'm putting together a resource list. 

I'll be adding to the list as I find more resources.

Partner Abuse Books by Ann Silvers

I understand partner abuse because I’ve witnessed it, studied it, and lived it.

• I have a legacy of abuse on both sides of my family tree.
• I know what it is like to be the target of abuse from a partner.
• I've studied about partner abuse.
• I've counseled people dealing with partner abuse.

All that learning comes together in my books about partner abuse and domestic violence.

Gender-Inclusive Partner Abuse Books

Partner abuse happens in all couple gender configurations, straight and LGBTQ+. Most resources focus on male-to-female domestic violence. That's important work and education, but we need to broaden discussion and increase awareness beyond that narrow view.

We need to offer help and support suited to anyone experiencing partner abuse.

What is the Cycle of Abuse? Is There Hope for Real Change?

One of the confusing aspects of partner abuse is that it is often not constant. There can be phases that are more intense and others that are less intense, possibly involving a period of regret, apology, and promises of change that increase hope that things will be OK. Spinning in these cycles is disorienting and exhausting.