Blog — stress

What Is Mental Filtering? Exposing This Cognitive Distortion 0

Mental filtering is one of the most common cognitive distortions, impacting your outlook by causing a hyperfocus on the negative while ignoring the positive.

If you've ever allowed one small piece of constructive criticism to overshadow lots of positive feedback for a job well done, that’s an example of the mental filter cognitive distortion.

Over time, these negative thought patterns undermine your self-esteem, relationships, and career path, while boosting stress, anxiety, and even depression.

By learning to recognize mental filtering and using tools to address it, you can gradually reshape your mindset toward a more balanced and realistic view.

Let’s explore what mental filtering is, its effects, and practical ways to counteract it.

Four Fs of Stress and Trauma: Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn Explained 0

Have you ever found yourself reacting to stress in ways that seem out of your control? Those automatic responses can get you in trouble! They can mess with your relationships, work life, and personal well-being.

You are probably aware of the fight-or-flight emergency stress response concept but may not know that 2-only list of instinctual reactions has been expanded as more research into stress has been performed.

As the list has grown, the F alliteration has remained. The expanded list includes Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn. (Some have added others like Faint or Flop, and Friend. I'll explain why I don't typically include these when talking about the stress response.)

I added freeze to my stress response explanations to clients many years ago, but I resisted the idea of growing the list beyond three until I investigated fawn recently for a writing project and got excited about how well it explained some of what I have witnessed in client stories.  

Recognizing the Four Fs stress response can empower you to better manage stress and make healthier choices in challenging situations.

By delving into each component of this primal response, you can gain valuable insights into your emotions and behaviors when faced with stressors. It can also help you understand how other people around you feel and act when they're stressed out.

Let's explore the Fight-Flight-Freeze-Fawn stress response and its implications on your daily life.

Guilt v Shame: What's the Difference? 0

Shame, guilt, and regret are emotional siblings that help point out where we’re going wrong. They have the potential to make your life better and better. They also have the potential of weighing you down. 

Part of being human is making mistakes. The question isn’t whether you’ll make mistakes. The question is: what will you do with your mistakes? 

This post will help you put your mistakes into perspective and turn associated guilt or regret into tools for upleveling your life. It will also help you let go of shame that binds you. 

Depression in Men: It Happens More Than You Think 0

Women are thought to be twice as likely as men to be depressed, but that doesn’t fit with men’s disproportionate representation in “deaths of despair” (males are 72% of alcohol abuse deaths, 70% of drug overdoses, and 80% of suicides).

Could it be that the psychology field has a flawed system for identifying depression? Some (including me) say yes.

Turns out, depression symptoms were defined by the way that women typically react to, and display, depression. Depression in men may look different.

Mental Health and Partner Abuse Resources for Men 0

There aren't a lot of online mental health and partner abuse resources that are geared to men, so I'm putting together a resource list. 

I'll be adding to the list as I find more resources.

The Benefits of Drinking Water for Anxiety, Mood, and More 0

Your body is mostly water. If you don't get enough water, you don't feel as good as you could physically or mentally. 

I spent 4 years researching and writing a book about the impact of diet on anxiety and specific anti-anxiety foods and supplements. The number one recommendation on my list of anti-anxiety foods is . . . water. 

There are lots of other foods to add to your diet, or subtract from your diet, to help you be more stress resilient and reduce anxiety, but getting enough water is a simple place to start.