How women financially abuse men

How women financially abuse men

“Every night, I’d walk in and be so tired and she wouldn’t say hi. She’d smile and say, ‘Checks, please.’”

When people focus on financial ways men abuse women, they often talk about men who exert control by limiting their partner’s ability to work or access to family money. While those same abuses may occur when the genders are flipped, there also are financial abuses that are available for women to use against men that take advantage of traditional gender roles.

A woman might be in a position to control finances because she has a much larger income than her partner. Another woman may take advantage of a man’s role as “provider” by demanding he provide an unreasonable amount or in unreasonable ways. If he doesn’t live up to her demands, there is a price to pay. The same woman, or other women, may capitalize on female gender roles to help her avoid financial responsibility.

Financially abused men may feel overly taxed by their partners' unreasonable demands or "requests" but struggle to see the situation for what it is since they are conditioned to carry the financial responsibilities for the partnership and family. 

The female-on-male financial abuse ways and means of manipulative or abusive women are diverse:

  • getting him to buy her things
  • controlling the finances
  • restricting access to financial information
  • demanding he make more money
  • misuse of funds
  • stealing from him or the family
  • ruining his credit
  • keeping the family financially burdened
  • refusing to contribute financially to the family
  • limiting his ability to work
  • destroying his property

For further explanation of each of the ways abusive women financially abuse their male partners and the personal stories of abused men check out my book:


abused men abusive women book


Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, and It's Time to Get Real About It

or for a quick reference 

abused men abusive women booklet

A quick look at Abuse OF Men BY Women


Previous Post Next Post

  • Ann Silvers
Comments 3
  • B

    My ex-wife (yep, EX-wife) financially abused me and our children for well over a decade. She controlled all the finances, barely worked and when she did she’d barely contribute to the household, ran up credit card debt to over $10K year after year after year and I could never figure out what it was she’s was spending it all on. One year, she had accumulated over $25K in cc debt and it took me working OT 50 – 60 hours per week for 3 years to maintain the monthly expenses and get us out of that debt. The following year, $10K more in cc debt, again. The nail in the coffin is when she snuck out of the house early one Saturday morning when I was sleeping, went to a car dealership, traded in her leased vehicle that still had 2 years left on it and bought a new $40K car without consulting me.

    That’s when I knew the cycle of financial abuse was never going to stop. It was never going to end.

    The divorce decree was signed 4 months ago. In that short period of time I’ve been able to save $10K so I can get my finances (and life) back on track. You know that expression “It’s cheaper to keep her”…? Not always

    Good luck, brothers.

  • Ann Silvers
    Ann Silvers

    Hi Chris. Unfortunately, the shortage of people talking about this topic doesn’t correlate with the number of men financial abuse is happening to. I think it’s very common and the culture is blinded to it — as it is blind to the many ways men get abused and taken advantage of in relationships with women. (I’m NOT saying that all women abuse and/or take advantage of men. I’m saying that it is happening far too often.)

  • Chris

    Don’t see alot about this on a Google search. I must be one of the few men that gets abused in this way

Leave a comment
Your Name:*
Email Address:*
Message: *

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.

* Required Fields