How women financially abuse men

How women financially abuse men

“Every night, I’d walk in and be so tired and she wouldn’t say hi. She’d smile and say, ‘Checks, please.’”

When people focus on financial ways men abuse women, they often talk about men who exert control by limiting their partner’s ability to work or access to family money. While those same abuses may occur when the genders are flipped, there also are financial abuses that are available for women to use against men that take advantage of traditional gender roles.

A woman might be in a position to control finances because she has a much larger income than her partner. Another woman may take advantage of a man’s role as “provider” by demanding he provide an unreasonable amount or in unreasonable ways. If he doesn’t live up to her demands, there is a price to pay. The same woman, or other women, may capitalize on female gender roles to help her avoid financial responsibility.

Financially abused men may feel overly taxed by their partners' unreasonable demands or "requests" but struggle to see the situation for what it is since they are conditioned to carry the financial responsibilities for the partnership and family. 

The female-on-male financial abuse ways and means of manipulative or abusive women are diverse:

  • getting him to buy her things
  • controlling the finances
  • restricting access to financial information
  • demanding he make more money
  • misuse of funds
  • stealing from him or the family
  • ruining his credit
  • keeping the family financially burdened
  • refusing to contribute financially to the family
  • limiting his ability to work
  • destroying his property

For further explanation of each of the ways abusive women financially abuse their male partners and the personal stories of abused men check out my book:


abused men abusive women book


Abuse OF Men BY Women: It Happens, It Hurts, and It's Time to Get Real About It

or for a quick reference 

abused men abusive women booklet

A quick look at Abuse OF Men BY Women


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  • Ann Silvers
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