Social Emotional Learning: What It Is and How to Teach It

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) helps kids develop essential life skills—like understanding emotions, handling challenges, building healthy relationships, and making thoughtful decisions.

When SEL is introduced in classrooms, counseling sessions, or at home, it can have a lasting positive impact on how children and adolescents grow, connect, and succeed. 

As a counselor who has been teaching emotional and relationship skills to groups, couples, and individuals for decades, I’ve seen how transformative these skills can be. Over the years, I’ve published books, workbooks, card sets, teacher manuals, and printable activity sheets to help make emotional learning more approachable—for adults as well as middle and high school students.

One strategy I’ve found particularly effective is gamifying emotional learning. That’s why many of the SEL resources I’ve created for teens include word puzzles, cards, and interactive activities to build emotional awareness and relationship skills in ways that connect with students and keep them engaged.

In this post, you’ll learn what Social Emotional Learning is, its history, why it matters, and how to use it with school-age children. You’ll also discover research-backed benefits, practical strategies, and skill-building resources for adults and teens.

It's a helpful guide for teachers, school counselors, therapists, homeschoolers, and parents, whether you're just beginning to think about SEL or looking to up your Social Emotional Learning game. 

Social Emotional Learning: Info, Research, and Curriculum Resources

What Is Social Emotional Learning (SEL)?

The goal of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) is to teach children and teens emotion and relationship skills. 

Whether introduced in schools, counseling sessions, or at home, SEL focuses on helping kids understand and regulate emotions, develop empathy, interact well with others, and make responsible decisions. 

Research shows that these “soft skills” not only help students manage stress and reduce behavior problems—they also improve academic performance and provide long-term benefits that extend well beyond graduation.

A Brief History of Social Emotional Learning (SEL)

The term Social Emotional Learning began to gain attention in the early 1990s, but its underlying ideas—like emotional literacy and empathy—have long been part of education and human development.

In 1994, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) was founded at the Yale University Child Study Center. CASEL played a key role in identifying and promoting the social and emotional competencies—core skills and abilities—that students need to thrive. Today, CASEL remains one of the most influential organizations in SEL research, training, and program development.

Their five-competency model has become one of the most widely used SEL frameworks across schools, counseling programs, and community-based youth work.

What are the Five SEL Competencies Defined by CASEL?

According to CASEL, Social Emotional Learning is built around five interconnected competencies. Each one strengthens how we understand ourselves, relate to others, and navigate everyday challenges.

Self-Awareness

This competency involves recognizing your own emotions, thoughts, and values—and understanding how they influence your behavior. It also includes building self-confidence and developing a realistic sense of your strengths and limitations.

Self-Management

Self-management is the ability to manage stress, control impulses, and stay focused on goals. It includes regulating emotions, practicing self-discipline, and motivating yourself to take positive action.

Social Awareness

Social awareness includes the ability to value the perspectives of others, show empathy, and recognize social norms and cues. It also involves appreciating diversity and understanding how context influences behavior.

Relationship Skills

This competency covers the skills needed to form and maintain healthy relationships. It includes clear communication, active listening, cooperation, conflict resolution, and seeking or offering help when needed.

Responsible Decision-Making

Responsible decision-making involves making thoughtful, respectful choices based on ethics, safety, and consideration of the well-being of yourself and others. It includes evaluating consequences, reflecting on values, and solving problems constructively.

How SEL Fits into the Bigger Picture of Emotional Intelligence

What is the difference between Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) and Social Emotional Learning (SEL)?

One way to look at it is that SEL falls under the bigger umbrella of emotional intelligence.

Social Emotional Learning is one of several major frameworks that help people build emotional intelligence.

While each EI model may vary in populations addressed—some targeting workplace settings, others academic or clinical—many of their core components overlap.

Here are four well-known emotion skill-building models and the skills they emphasize:

• Mayer and Salovey (Founders of EI training): Perceive, use, understand, and regulate emotions
• Daniel Goleman (Workplace-Focused): Emotional self-awareness, self-regulation, internal motivation, empathy, and social skills
• CASEL’s SEL Model (School-Focused): Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making
• Marc Brackett’s RULER Model (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence): Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions

My Teaching Emotional Awareness SEL curriculum series—featuring lesson plans and activity handouts—focuses on CASEL’s core competencies. I will describe these resources in more detail later in this post.

My Building Skills to Uplevel Life: Silver Lining Emotional Intelligence Workbook draws from all four approaches listed above. Created for teens and adults, this workbook is a practical guide for learning to label, understand, and process emotions, with equal emphasis on navigating difficult feelings and savoring feel-good emotions.

Why Social Emotional Learning Matters for Teens

Teens are navigating intense changes—emotionally, socially, and academically. SEL helps them build the skills they need to thrive during this developmental stage and beyond.

When teens learn how to manage their emotions, empathize with others, communicate clearly, and think through their choices, they’re better equipped for school and life. 

Here are some of the ways Social Emotional Learning helps teens:

• Improves emotion regulation
• Supports stress resilience and mental health 
• Builds empathy and appreciation for different perspectives
• Strengthens communication and relationship skills
• Improves problem-solving and conflict resolution
• Encourages responsible decision-making
• Increases motivation and optimism 
• Boosts academic performance 
• Reduces behavior problems and classroom disruptions
  
• Contributes to higher graduation rates
• Lays the foundation for long-term well-being, career success, and healthy relationships in adulthood

There’s plenty of research showing that SEL helps students feel better, do better in school, and interact more positively with others.

What are the Evidence-Based Benefits of Social Emotional Learning in Schools? 

 

“A growing body of research and literature supports the premise that effective SEL programming is a key to children’s success in school and life.”
— SEL Research Group / CASEL Update, July 2010

SEL is supported by decades of research showing clear benefits for students of all ages—including those in elementary school, middle school, and high school.

For starters, Social Emotional Learning programs have been able to demonstrate positive results for their stated goals of improved relationships and emotion skills. 

Research also shows many positive side effects of SEL. 

Academic Gains

A meta-analysis of 213 studies found that SEL participation is associated with an average 11-point gain in academic achievement. (Child Development Journal, 2011)

Mental Health Improvements

A Yale Child Study Center Study analyzed over 250 SEL programs in more than 50 countries. Among other benefits, SEL was shown to:

• Increase self-esteem, perseverance, and optimism
• Reduce anxiety, stress, depression, and suicidal thoughts

Reduced Behavior Problems

In preparation for testimony to the US Congress in March 2023, the Learning Policy Institute reviewed 12 meta-analysis SEL benefits studies. The results included evidence that SEL programs in every grade K-12 "reduced disruptive behavior and emotional distress."

Higher Graduation Rate

Research shows increased graduation rates for students with SEL as high as 6% compared to control groups. 

Positive Long-Term Outcomes

Research that examined results from SEL follow-up studies collecting data from people 6 months to 18 years after they had gone through school-based social emotional learning programs found that "participants fared significantly better than controls in social-emotional skills, attitudes, and indicators of well-being" and that "postintervention social-emotional skill development was the strongest predictor of well-being at follow-up."

➡️ For more EI research results and sources: 15 Important High Emotional Intelligence Benefits post.

Gamifying Social Emotional Learning

Adding game elements to teaching activities and curriculums can make learning fun and increase engagement.

SEL doesn’t need to feel heavy or serious all the time. One of the most effective ways to make these skills stick—especially for teens—is to gamify the experience.

I love games myself, so creating teaching aids based on games comes naturally to me. 

My Teaching Emotional Awareness series of SEL teacher manuals and printable handouts includes word searches and scrambles, crossword puzzles, scenario-based worksheets, and cards for a What's Under Their Anger? interactive game. 

These teaching aids for classrooms, school counselors, group leaders, therapists,  homeschoolers, and parents provide resources that invite students to explore social-emotional concepts in a playful, low-pressure way. 

This approach can keep them engaged while helping them internalize skills like emotional vocabulary, empathy, and positive decision-making.

My 101 Emotions List

I’ll walk you through the EI and SEL teacher manuals, worksheets, and books I’ve published shortly—but first, I want to highlight a core element for many of these resources: my 101 Emotions List.

In my early work teaching parenting classes—long before I became a counselor—I began noticing two consistent patterns: 

1. Having words to label emotions is essential for understanding yourself and others. 

2. Most people have a limited emotion vocabulary that undermines their ability to understand themselves and the people around them. 

That’s why I developed the 101 Emotions List as a foundation for building emotional intelligence. I use it daily in my therapy practice and have witnessed how much this simple tool jump-starts my clients' personal and relationship growth. 

In creating the list, I divided the words into groups of Comfortable Emotions and Uncomfortable Emotions to move away from judgmental labels like “positive” and “negative.” Emotions aren't good or bad. They are information.

This 101 list forms the basis of my Emotional Intelligence Booster card set and is woven into other teaching and counseling aids I describe throughout this post.

A shared emotion vocabulary across multiple resources helps students build understanding from different angles and deepen their learning over time.

You'll also find opportunities within the materials to tailor the emotion focus based on your preferences. For example, you can modify the EI Booster card set by pulling out cards to highlight or setting aside ones that don’t fit your current goals. And with the variety of activity worksheets available in my other products, you can easily pick and choose what works best for your students, clients, or group.

Printable PDF Downloads: SEL Curriculum Activities for Middle and High School Students

If you’re looking for a ready-to-use Social Emotional Learning curriculum for teens—from middle school through high school—my collection of instant download PDF printable workbooks offers a flexible, engaging way to build these skills step by step.

Each workbook is filled with creative SEL activities. They include puzzles, matching games, wordplay, and visual prompts to make emotional learning both meaningful and fun.

The Teaching Emotional Awareness Series has 6 teacher manuals with lesson plans, bulletin board posters, helpful tips for setting up a psychologically safe setting for kids talking about emotions, informational handouts, and activity worksheets.

They cover a range of emotional intelligence skills from simple feeling word vocabulary-building to expressing emotions with tact. The activities are designed for participation sizes from whole classrooms to small groups to individuals. 

Each teacher's manual points out which of the five SEL competencies are being covered by the workbook and lesson objectives. 

1. Teaching Emotional Awareness: Identifying Emotions

Creative exercises that help students recognize and label emotions using word clouds, scrambles, and activities that encourage storytelling and reflection.

2. Teaching Emotional Awareness: Emotions Word Searches

Puzzle-style SEL activities that teach emotion vocabulary through themed word searches and hidden messages—introducing key ideas like “emotions are information” in a format that feels more like play than work.

3. Teaching Emotional Awareness: Comfortable Emotions Definitions and Crosswords

Crossword puzzles and definition-matching tasks offer a mentally stimulating way to explore feel-good "positive" emotions like joy, excitement, and gratitude.

4. Teaching Emotional Awareness: Uncomfortable Emotions Definitions and Crosswords

Structured puzzles and comparison activities help teens expand their vocabulary for uncomfortable, painful, "negative" feelings while developing emotional insight and resilience.

5. Teaching Emotional Awareness: What's Under Anger? Activities

This workbook focuses on teaching the concept of anger as a secondary emotion. It includes an anger iceberg poster and worksheets, self-reflection activities, writing prompts, and a printable card game that helps teens investigate the uncomfortable emotions hiding beneath anger—turning emotional awareness into an engaging challenge.

6. Teaching Emotional Awareness: Using "I" Messages to Express Emotions

Worksheet prompts and scenario-based writing exercises help students increase self-awareness and practice assertive communication using "I" messages. Exercises simulate real-life situations and support skill-building through repetition by offering multiple variations on a theme.

How to Use SEL Lesson Plans and Worksheets in the Classroom, Counseling, or at Home

The Teaching Emotional Awareness printable teacher manual and activity sheet SEL lesson packs are ready to use in:

• Classroom lessons and homework assignments
• Advisory periods
• School counselor student meetings: group and one-on-one
• Group and individual therapy sessions
• Homeschool curriculum
  

They’re a great way to introduce, reinforce, or review key SEL concepts while encouraging curiosity, creativity, and self-reflection.

✅ Explore the full SEL workbook collection here.

Emotional Intelligence Mini Book and Print Workbook for Teens and Adults

If you’re ready to go deeper, I’ve written two books that directly address emotional intelligence:

A Quick Look at Demystifying Emotions (Downloadable PDF and Print Mini Book)

Building Skills to Uplevel Life: Silver Lining Emotional Intelligence Workbook (Print)

These tools support growth in emotional awareness, self-regulation, and communication —with insights and learning activities that apply to both teens and adults.

In Summary: Social Emotional Learning Provides Crucial Life Skills for Kids

When we give teens the tools to understand themselves and relate to others, we’re doing more than improving behavior or school performance—we’re helping them grow into confident, capable, and connected human beings.

Whether you’re a teacher, counselor, homeschooler, or parent, SEL offers a powerful way to help teens thrive academically, emotionally, and socially.

✅ Teachers, School Counselors, Therapists, Homeschoolers, Parents, and Group Leaders: Ready to bring SEL into your work with teens? Click here to explore lesson plans and printable activity sheets that support emotional growth and resilience in middle and high school students.

Frequently Asked Questions About SEL

Want a quick refresher? Here are answers to some common questions about SEL.

What does SEL stand for?

SEL is an acronym Social Emotional Learning.

What are the 5 Social Emotional Learning (SEL) competencies?

The 5 broadly accepted SEL competencies defined by the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (CASEL) are Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.

Why is Social Emotional Learning important for teens?

SEL teaches emotional regulation, empathy, communication, and decision-making—all crucial for success in school, relationships, and life.

How can I teach SEL at home?

Parents can teach Social Emotional Learning at home through daily conversations about emotions, modelling emotional regulation, and using printable SEL activities to guide skill-building, reflection, and discussion.

Boosting your own Emotional Intelligence is vitally important for ability to nuture these skills in your children. If you're looking for a resource to help build your own skills—or to work through together with your teen—my Building Skills to Uplevel Life: Silver Lining Emotional Intelligence Workbook is a great place to start.

What are some examples of SEL activities?

Emotion word searches and crossword puzzles, “I” message prompts, thoughts and feelings journaling exercises, anger iceberg worksheets, and card-based self-awareness games are examples of SEL activities for kids. Each of these can be found in my Teaching Emotional Awareness Series of instant download printable PDFs. Check them out on my Etsy Shop: AnnSWellnessDigitals. 

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