8 Red Flags the Pregnancy is a Trap
Many a man has been snared by an announcement that a woman is pregnant with his child. How can you tell whether an “accidental” pregnancy is a trap or legit? What are the signs someone is faking a pregnancy?
I've heard so many baby trap stories that I often ask couples that I'm counseling whether their children were planned. If the answer is "no", then I can ask more questions to get a sense of whether the pregnancies were just accidents, or they were purposeful manipulations.
Baby Trapping a Man
A pregnancy may be accidental-on-purpose. Like the one a woman was working on when her boyfriend walked in on her inseminating herself with semen from his used condom. (She had retrieved the condom out of the garbage can!)
Women intent on baby trapping a man may not let the fact that they haven’t gotten pregnant get in their way. They may fake it until they can make it.
Accidents do happen. Sometimes the best-laid plans run amuck and create offspring.
Other times, women use pregnancy to trap their man or his money.
It can be very difficult to figure out if a surprise pregnancy was truly accidental or secretly planned.
I’m going to give you 8 pregnancy trap red flags and tell you how to protect yourself from being trapped by a pregnancy.
8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap
Baby Trap Red Flag #1. The pregnancy pulled you back from the brink.
If you were thinking about breaking up with her—the pregnancy might be a trap.
It may be more than a coincidence that your girlfriend or wife announced she was pregnant right after you broke up with her. You might not have actually made the declaration that you were breaking up out loud yet but she was getting the break-up vibe from you.
The pregnancy may be a preemptive move to cut off your chance of getting away. She may be trying to ensnare you with the "lying about a pregnancy to keep him" trap.
Baby Trap Red Flag #2. You’ve made it clear you don’t want kids now.
If you told her you don’t want kids now—the pregnancy might be a trap.
She may not care what your thoughts/feelings are about fatherhood, or she may have convinced herself that you’re going to be OK with having a child if it is flung on you, you’re just apprehensive about committing. So she decides to take the decision away from you and make it happen. She then says it was an accident, but it was actually the result of a well-conceived plan (figuratively and literally).
This trap may be direct or indirect.
A direct trap would be that the pregnancy is intended to secure your relationship or financial support.
An indirect trap would be that the primary objective is motherhood, you’re being trapped into fatherhood may be extraneous to that objective. Your seed is necessary for her motherhood but beyond that, you may or may not be relevant to her.
You might also find this video interesting, eye-opening and/or confirming.
Baby Trap Red Flag #3. She has something to gain from being your baby momma.
If she will benefit in some way from the pregnancy—the pregnancy might be a trap.
A woman who has decided on her own that having your baby has some payoff for her and that that payoff trumps your desire to not have children right now is ripe for becoming your baby momma whether you’re up for it or not.
There are many potential pregnancy benefits that might motivate a woman to get pregnant accidentally-on-purpose. She may want to:
fulfill her dream to be a mom,
seal the deal on your relationship (even if Red Flag #1 doesn’t apply and things seem to be going well),
get you to support her directly or through child support,
qualify for welfare benefits, or
- secure immigration status.
This red flag could be in play even if she presents herself as disappointed that she is pregnant. The disappointment could be a show to cover her tracks.
Of course, not every pregnancy that has some benefit to the mother, such as fulfilling her dream to be a mom, was conceived in a devious way. Each red flag is intended to get your attention and help you pause to consider the possibilities.
Baby Trap Red Flag #4. She has a lame excuse for going off birth control.
If she says she went off of her birth control for a reason other than getting pregnant and she suddenly got pregnant—the pregnancy might be a trap.
There are legitimate reasons for going off of birth control pills. The hormones in the pills make some women feel sick (though this is usually evident when a woman starts taking the pills, not usually something that suddenly happens later).
Similarly, a woman’s IUD (Intrauterine Device) may come out on its own, but when this does happen it is usually in the first few months of use.
However, the most common reason for going off of birth control pills or getting an IUD removed is—drum roll please—to get pregnant.
It is particularly suspicious when she failed to tell you that she was no longer protected by her customary birth control until after “oops, I’m pregnant.” Why didn’t she give you a heads-up that she had pulled the goalie?
Baby Trap Red Flag #5. She seduced you.If she came on to you the day she got pregnant—the pregnancy might be a trap.
Women are most likely to get pregnant when they have sex around the time they are ovulating. There is a fertile window of about 8 days for every menstrual cycle. Women with irregular cycles may have difficulty figuring out their fertile window, but women with regular cycles should be able to figure it out relatively easily.
A woman who wants to get pregnant when her partner doesn’t may seduce him when she thinks she has an increased chance of conceiving.
But then again, some women experience increased sexual arousal when they are fertile. She may just have been seductive because she was revved up by her hormones.
Some medical advice for people trying to conceive includes the recommendation that they have sex every 2 to 3 days when there is a chance of fertility. Others encourage frequent intercourse during the fertile window. If her pattern of initiating sex changed into either of these patterns that could also fit this red flag.
Baby Trap Red Flag #6. She convinced you to “go ahead, I can’t get pregnant today.”
If she encouraged you to not use a condom—the pregnancy might be a trap.
A pregnancy that results from unprotected sex that breaks from a routine of using protection could have been the product of a set-up. The middle of sexual ecstasy is not a great time for optimal rational thought. Your partner can pretty much count on it not taking much convincing for you to forgo a condom or to ejaculate inside her if she encourages it.
If she was so convinced she couldn’t get pregnant that day, how did she get pregnant that day?
But then again, it leaves just enough room for doubt.
Baby Trap Red Flag #7. She’s not really pregnant.
If she says she’s pregnant but she’s not—there’s a really good chance the “pregnancy” is a trap.
Not all surprise announcements of “I’m pregnant” are actually accompanied by a pregnancy. Some are straight-up lies.
A man who was about to break up with his girlfriend was informed that she was pregnant (Red Flag #1). He felt he had to do the honorable thing and marry her. Fortunately, his mom became suspicious of the situation and encouraged him to go to doctor appointments with his girlfriend. The girlfriend couldn’t let that happen since she wasn’t really pregnant, so eventually, she had to spill the beans and admit it was a lie.
Unfortunately, there are a multitude of easily obtainable products to help women pull off the “You’re a daddy” Scam.
I had heard of women selling positive pregnancy tests on Craig’s List. To investigate this I googled fake positive pregnancy tests.
OMG! I was shocked by the results!
There is a whole industry churning out fake false positive pregnancy tests and that is just the beginning.
If you catch your girlfriend in the act of using fake pregnancy tests or fake paternity test results and she then tries to pass it off as a joke, you may be left wondering was it or wasn’t it. (Joke or no joke, do you really want to be with a woman who would try to con you in this way?)
Baby Trap Red Flag #8. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage.
If she suddenly isn’t pregnant anymore—the “pregnancy” might have been a trap.
A miscarriage may be a cover story for a pregnancy that never was.
Eventually, the lie is going to catch up with her. There is only so much time to run with a false pregnancy story. Something eventually has to happen. Either she has to start looking pregnant or she needs to end the “pregnancy.”
Women have been known to manufacture a bulging belly to keep the fake pregnancy story alive long enough to secure the trap on her man, but even that extreme measure can only take them so far.
The most common time for a pretend miscarriage to end a pretend pregnancy is after marriage or other commitment markers. You then may think you shouldn’da put a ring on it, but it’s now a much more difficult proposition to get away from her.
But then again, lots of real pregnancies end in miscarriage.
To recap, here are the 8 Pregnancy Trap Red Flags
#1. The pregnancy pulled you back from the brink.
#2. You’ve made it clear you don’t want kids now.
#3. She has something to gain from being your baby momma.
#4. She has a lame excuse for going off birth control.
#5. She seduced you.
#6. She convinced you to “go ahead, I can’t get pregnant today.”
#7. She’s not really pregnant.
#8. She has a conveniently timed miscarriage.
Trapping a man with a pregnancy and other forms of taking his reproductive rights away is partner sexual abuse. I talk about this and 9 other ways wives and girlfriends sexually abuse husbands and boyfriends in my post: How Women Sexually Abuse Men.
If you are being tricked into fatherhood, chances are you are vulnerable to other ways women abuse men, you need my books:
Or for a summary of the larger book that is linked above:
- Tags: abuse OF men BY women
- Ann Silvers