12 Types of Lies and Deception

—Ricky Gervais

Abusive people often lie or use any of a dozen methods of distorting the truth to meet their self-centered objectives. Sometimes the liar is a friend, family member, co-worker, boss, person in power, or romantic partner. 

What's in This Post

Why do people lie?

• cover their tracks,
• create an illusion,
• distract from reality,
• make themself look good or someone else look bad,
• garner sympathy or advantage, 
• alter another person's perception of the situation, or
• to give false impressions to other people about themself or someone else.

Distortions of the truth may also be used as a source of fun. Some people enjoy the game of pulling the wool over other people’s eyes. Not telling the truth makes them feel powerful. It’s exhilarating.

Example of a Master Liar

This man's wife was a master liar:

After a man separated from his wife, he “kept unveiling deeper levels of deception.”

His wife lied at the beginning of their relationship as she was wooing him.

He was taken in by her stories at the time, but would discover much later that they were exaggerations and distortions.

During their marriage, she would often go on and on about how bad people are who cheat on their spouses, while, in reality, she was cheating on him.

She moved money into a bank account that he didn’t know about until forensic accounting discovered it during the divorce.

These deceits were just the tip of the iceberg.

12 Types of Lies and Deceptions 

How can you tell when someone is lying? Even worse, how can you tell if someone you love is lying to you? First: increase your lie-spotting capabilities by learning that there is more than one way to lie. 

People have different ways of not telling the truth:

1. Pretending they are someone they are not
2. Creating a cover story
3. “Me thinks thou doth protest too much”
4. Burying the lead
5. Telling half-truths
6. Diverting
7. Minimizing
8. Exaggerating
9. Denying the truth
10. Withholding information
11. Selective memory
12. Straight-up lying

What it Looks Like When a Liar Lies

1. Pretending they are someone they are not

2. Creating a cover story

3. “Me thinks thou doth protest too much”

4. Burying the lead

5. Telling half-truths

6. Diverting

7. Minimizing

8. Exaggerating

9. Denying the truth

10. Withholding information

11. Selective memory

12. Straight-up lying

Books About Partner Abuse

Through working with thousands of clients as individuals and couples, as well as my own life experience being the target of an abusive partner, I've figured out a lot about what partner abuse looks like and feels like. I've also learned what helps and doesn't help. I've written several books to pass that learning on to you. 

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