What Is Emotional Intelligence (EI)? Definitions, Models, and Skills

Emotional intelligence has been discussed for several decades now — in psychology, education, and the workplace. But what does emotional intelligence actually mean?

To answer that question, it helps to go back to the beginning and look at how the concept was defined by the researchers and authors who brought it into focus.

Daniel Goleman's Definition of Emotional Intelligence

Publication of Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ brought the idea of EI into everyday conversation.

The book’s long-lasting success landed it on Time Magazine’s twenty-five most influential business management books list. Goleman, a psychologist and science journalist, has gone on to publish many books focusing on EI in the workplace and leadership.

He also co-founded the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, bringing Social Emotional Learning (SEL) programs into schools around the world.

“Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” —Daniel Goleman

Mayer and Salovey's Emotional Intelligence Definition

John Mayer and Peter Salovey, two of the founders of emotional intelligence theory, offered this definition:

“We define EI as the capacity to reason about emotions, and of emotions, to enhance thinking. It includes the abilities to accurately perceive emotions, to access and generate emotions so as to assist thought, to understand emotions and emotional knowledge, and to reflectively regulate emotions so as to promote emotional and intellectual growth.”

While many others have added to their work, Mayer and Salovey (currently the President of Yale University) remain prominent figures in the field of emotional intelligence.

My Emotional Intelligence Definition

From my perspective, emotions are information. Emotions let us know what is going on between us and the world. They give us direction and motivation. They help us survive. And they help us go beyond mere surviving to thriving.

Emotional intelligence is wisdom about, and ability to deal with, emotions — yours and other people’s. It is a skill set that can be learned and developed.

Terms Used for Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (EI) is also known as emotional intelligence quotient (EQ). 

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) programs used in schools include lessons and activities that help students build emotional intelligence, such as teaching them how to recognize and manage their emotions.

In workplace settings, emotional intelligence is often discussed in connection with soft skills. Some prefer calling them power skills, arguing that this designation better reflects the real-world importance of emotional intelligence in leadership, decision-making, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Core Emotional Intelligence Skills and Competencies Across Models

Since Mayor and Salovey introduced the phrase emotional intelligence in 1990, a variety of models for measuring and developing EI have made their appearance.

Some models address general audiences, and some target specific groups (e.g., Goleman’s program targets the workplace and leaders, and Social Emotional Learning (SEL) targets school populations).

While each model is a little different from the others and has their unique way of designating targeted skills/competencies, they also share many common elements.

Here are four well-known emotion skill-building models and the skills they emphasize:

• Mayer and Salovey (Founders of EI training): Perceive, use, understand, and regulate emotions

• Daniel Goleman (Workplace-Focused): Emotional self-awareness, self-regulation, internal motivation, empathy, and social skills

• CASEL’s SEL Model (School-Focused): Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making

• Marc Brackett’s RULER Model (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence): Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions

While the terminology varies, these models consistently highlight:

• Awareness of emotions

• Understanding emotional meaning

• Emotion regulation — which is the ability to control the intensity and duration of emotions and manage your behavioral response

• Using emotional information in healthy ways in relationships and decision-making

Emotional intelligence is not a single rigid model. It’s a set of learnable, practical skills that can be taught and strengthened through different approaches, including SEL programs, workplace training, and personal development work.

IQ vs EQ: What's More Important? 

For a number of years, people got so excited about emotional intelligence that they were making sweeping claims that it is more important than intellectual intelligence.  

While the absolute statement that EQ outweighs IQ is questionable since their relative importance can depend on the situation and the specific skills required for a given job, there is no doubt that high emotional intelligence provides many benefits in many aspects of life. 

What's the difference between IQ and EQ?

Besides that IQ is about intellectual intelligence and EQ is about emotional intelligence, a huge difference is that a large portion of IQ is influenced by genetics — you are born with it.  EQ, on the other hand, is mostly learned. This is great news! 

Wherever you are with your emotional intelligence level, you can build on it and improve your knowledge, understanding, and skill level. 

Emotional Intelligence Step-by-Step

Created out of decades of teaching people emotion, communication, and relationship skills, my emotional intelligence workbook, Building Skills to Uplevel Life, is a practical step-by-step guide for applying emotional intelligence to daily life. 

← Previous Post Next Post →