8 Practical Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Struggling to figure out how to not be so down on yourself? Wondering how you can give your self-esteem a boost and get it out of the basement level it seems to be stuck in? Looking for tips to help you start feeling better about yourself? 

Improving your self-esteem takes time, but it is doable — and worth the effort. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life to feel better about yourself. Small shifts in how you think, what you focus on, and how you treat yourself can lead to big changes over time.

Self-Esteem Basics and Benefits

This post is a part of a series of articles I created on self-esteem. 

Other topics covered in the series: the basics of what self-esteem is and isn't, what causes low self-esteem, common signs of low self-esteem from self-doubt to overcompensation, and the research-backed benefits of healthy self-esteem. 

8 Ways to Improve Self-Esteem

Here are eight practical therapy-tested ways to start building healthier self-esteem, with tools and exercises to put the tips into action. 

Don’t feel like you have to try these all at once or in the order they are listed. Start with one that speaks to what you need right now.

1. Give Yourself Credit Where It’s Due

A client told me about this saying that was common in her AA group: “If you want self-esteem, do esteemable things.” It’s true — your actions matter. But it’s not just about doing good things — it’s also about giving yourself credit for them.

Many people with low self-esteem minimize their accomplishments or overlook everyday moments of integrity, effort, or kindness. Big and small accomplishments get dismissed as luck or “not a big deal,” while mistakes take center stage.

Start paying attention to the ways you show up:

• When you follow through on something you said you’d do

• When you handle a tough moment with grace or patience
  

• When you have a success, even if it's a micro-win

Noticing esteemable acts can help quiet self-doubt and remind you that you are already doing things that reflect growth and strength.

What are some micro-wins you've had recently?

2. Acknowledge that Life is an Experiment

As we go through life, we are constantly trying to figure out what works and doesn't work.

Life is an experiment. 

Learn to accept yourself while you strive to improve yourself.

Another way to look at it: Grow through what you go through. 

3. Deal with Your Mistakes

Healthy self-esteem isn’t about ignoring the mistakes you’ve made in the past or allowing yourself to repeat those mistakes in the future.

It is about engaging humility and courage so that you can examine mistakes:

• Gather the wisdom and understanding the situations have to offer
• Make adjustments and possibly amends
• Acknowledge to yourself that you are human and therefore will make mistakes

4. Strive for Excellence, Not Perfection

Perfection is unattainable. If you expect perfection from yourself, you will be chronically disappointed in yourself.

Excellence is doable. Striving for excellence allows you to take into account individual circumstances and adjust priorities for your time and energy according to those circumstances.

5. Counter Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk may be words or phrases you heard recently or many years ago, popping into your mind again and again.

When you become aware of the negative messages, you can challenge them.

In my thirties, I realized I would commonly hear “You’re stupid” in my mind. I began to challenge it each time I heard it, saying to myself, “Reality check. You’re not stupid.” And then remind myself of the evidence that I am actually quite smart. Eventually, the “You’re stupid” message went away.

6. Challenge Cognitive Distortions

Low self-esteem is often fueled by distorted thinking — like filtering out the positive or taking a black-or-white, polarized view of things.

These cognitive distortions warp how you see yourself and your experiences, reinforcing the belief that you’re not good enough.

One practical way to challenge these patterns is to use the CBT Catch, Check, Change method:

• Catch the thought – Start by noticing when a negative or exaggerated thought pops into your mind.

• Check it – Ask yourself: Is this really true? Is it the whole picture? What evidence do I have for and against it?

• Change it – Replace the distortion with a more helpful, balanced, realistic thought—one that supports your self-esteem rather than tearing it down.

For example, if you think, “I always mess up,” catch the thought, check it against the facts (“Actually, I’ve handled a lot of things well”), and change it to something like, “I’ve made some mistakes, but I also have a lot of strengths.”

Practicing these CBT strategies helps you rewire negative thought patterns and build a healthier, more supportive inner voice.

7. Root Out Shame

Shame and guilt are in the same family of emotions. Guilt is "I have done something bad." Shame is "I am bad."

Shame tends to weigh a person down. It is also often imposed by others who shame us.

Guilt can be a more productive emotion than shame. Guilt can help you look at your mistakes and learn from them. 

8. Consider Therapy for Extra Support

Sometimes low self-esteem is rooted in experiences, like trauma, childhood difficulties, or deeply ingrained beliefs, that are hard to untangle on your own.

Therapy can help you explore those roots, recognize blind spots, and build new ways of thinking and responding. A good therapist can guide you with tools, insight, and support as you strengthen your sense of self.

You don’t have to do all the heavy lifting alone.

If you'd like to work with me and live in Washington State, I offer in-person counseling for adults in the Gig Harbor area and teletherapy far and wide. Fill out the counseling contact form, and we can talk about how I can help. 

Self-Esteem Activities and Exercises for Teens and Adults

If you have low self-esteem, you don’t have to stay there.

You can work through past experiences and challenge the old messages that shaped how you see yourself. The impact those experiences had on you can change.

Self-esteem is something you can build with insight, intention, and practice.

And you don’t have to do it all at once. Confidence grows step by step.

Uplevel Life Workbook: Tools to Help Build Self-Esteem and Emotional Intelligence

If you’re ready to put these strategies into action, my Uplevel Life workbook can help.

The Building Skills to Uplevel Life: Silver Lining Emotional Intelligence Workbook is packed with tips, tools, and worksheets designed to support lasting self-esteem growth. It expands on many of the same principles covered in this post—including:

• Healing shame

• Reframing mistakes and failure

• Addressing perfectionism

• Identifying and replacing negative self-talk

• Understanding and challenging cognitive distortions 
  

• Recognizing your strengths and accomplishments

• Learning to take a compliment 

• Managing emotions effectively
  

This workbook helps you move from insight to implementation—one step at a time. Whether you're working on your own or using it as a resource in therapy or coaching, it's a powerful companion for anyone building self-esteem and emotional resilience.

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